Let me set the scene. You’re staring down at those two little lines realizing that your life is about to change in a big way. Even if this is what you hoped for and planned for, it can still be pretty daunting. But let’s rewind for a moment. I’m willing to bet that your journey to get to this point in the first place was its own emotional rollercoaster. Maybe you went through rounds of IVF, or you tracked your ovulation for months, perhaps you chose a trusted surrogate, you might have even endured surgeries to prepare your body for pregnancy, or you took the adoption route. Regardless, it’s a life changing process that can sometimes get minimized or devalued by those who don’t understand.

    Once you’ve processed that this is really happening, you might start researching to figure out what the heck to expect. Dr. Google is never your friend, but it can be an especially scary place for a pregnant woman. Eventually, you learn to lean on trusted members of your support system rather than the internet. The doctors, doulas, midwives, and friends who really get it, become your best resources. You might even notice that you develop a newfound respect for the mothers in your life. There are so many life experiences that you just truly cannot grasp until they happen to you. I believe pregnancy is one of those experiences.

    Now this is a safe space, right?! So let’s talk about all the symptoms you’re grappling with right now if you are carrying your baby. They literally change on a weekly (or even daily!) basis. People like to chalk pregnancy symptoms up to “morning sickness” and swollen feet. Oh wouldn’t it be lovely if that was it?? Nope, instead you are dry heaving ALL DAY, exhausted to a level that you didn’t know existed, your skin is SO SENSITIVE, you suddenly know what restless legs and sciatica pain feel like, you can’t find a comfortable position no matter how hard you try, relentless headaches make it feel impossible to concentrate, and you feel as though you are constantly on the verge of sobbing. Then there are the invisible symptoms; The feeling of being a stranger in your own body, the worry about what the future holds, the anticipation of meeting this little person you’re creating. Not to mention the pressure you may feel from society at large. After all, you wanted this. This is a blessing. Aren’t you grateful?! The reality is that two things that seem conflicting can actually be true at the same time. You can feel so incredibly grateful and also very scared. You can feel super excited and also exhausted as hell.

    As with many big life experiences and transitions, the world around you doesn’t stop. Now you’re just navigating it while juggling pregnancy as well. You might already have little ones and now you’re raising them while growing their sibling. Your responsibilities continue on. You’re still showing up to work, birthday parties, holiday gatherings, doctor appointments, weddings, funerals, engagement parties, showers, children’s activities, and so much more. And let’s not forget that the chores still need to get done. In fact, there are even more chores now that a baby is on the way. Nesting is real!

    I know I’ve been on a roll, but I promise I have a point to all of this. My point is, YOU ARE CRUSHING IT. Even on the days when you feel like you’re falling apart. The days when you wake up on empty, but somehow manage to still show up for yourself and others. The days when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person looking back at you. The days when you feel a deep sense of sadness as you mourn the version of yourself you will be leaving behind. The days when you feel frustrated because NOTHING FITS. The days when you find yourself doom scrolling and reading about every possible pregnancy and birth complication. The days when you wonder if you’ll ever be a “good enough mom” for your sweet little baby. 

I have to imagine that this experience is not for nothing. There is something so beautiful waiting for you on the other side. I’m not saying it will be easy or perfect. My hope is that you can give yourself grace as you navigate all the ups and downs on this journey. After all, I am in this with you. You got this mama.

DISCLAIMER: I am writing this from the POV of a woman experiencing her first pregnancy. This blog post is purely a form of self expression and does not represent the full scope of experiences that someone expecting a child might have.